Grow Home

"So, Jack, are we going to be seeing some of the older grow houses?" Asked a well-dressed twenty-something year old lady from one of the front seats of the vehicle.
"Yes, absolutely. We are coming up to them now," said a white haired man from the back seat.
Their vehicle smoothly approached a dense group of tall, leaning houses.
"Back in the old days, they did not take into consideration the effect of light competition for home growth," Jack explained. "The houses were planted too close to each other and to the existing trees. As a result, they grew taller to get get more light. Since we're in a northern latitude, the houses tend to bend southward."
"Do the sides with more sunlight grow faster?" asked the boyfriend, a tall, lanky young man with a tall Roman nose.
"No. Actually, the opposite happens - just like with trees and other plants. The houses are plants, actually, so  they're not actually "just like", they are!" Laughed Jack.
"That's cool," said the young man.

"How big are those houses? How big were they when they were planted?" asked the young lady.

"Well, right now," Jack explained, "these houses are about thirty years old. They started out as three bedroom bungalows without basements. For the first couple of seasons, they grew outward - larger bedrooms, larger family room, larger kitchen - every room got bigger. But as the houses started to get closer together, they started to grow up.  Some of the houses got "stuck", so a manufacturer started selling gibberellic acid to add to the feed mix."

"What is the feed mix?" asked the young man.

"That's the growth engine for the houses," Jack explained. "It's where the plant gets it's nutrients. It's also the septic system. All the organic waste and grey water go into the feed mix where enzymes and other organic admixtures are added on a regular basis."

"Why are these houses so tall?" asked the lady.

"Well, like I said, it was the competition for light, but there was a problem with the gibberellic acid mix too," answered Jack. "That was twenty years ago - we don't have those kinds of problems anymore."

"What happens when a house gets stuck now?" asked the lady.  

"You'd just hire a licensed horticulturalist," Jack replied. "They are easy to find these days with so much of the housing market taken over by the grow homes. But more than likely, you wouldn't expect to have any problems until the house reaches stage two growth. If nothing happened then, then you're pretty much home free for at least ten years after that."

"Where is the house we are going to see? And how old is it?" asked the lady.

"It's on Live Oak drive," Jack answered. "I think the address is 714. The car will take us there, regardless. It knows where we're going.  How old is it? Let's see, it's listed as - it's about five years old."

"Five years? Isn't that stage two?" asked the young man.

"Yes, it should be ready for stage two growth by now. If there are any problems, they should be apparent to a licensed inspector. The roots on these homes are amazing," Jack continued quickly. "They have tap roots that extend down 60 meters or more and provide some really amazing geothermal heating and cooling in addition to pristine flora filtered drinking water."

"Why are the owners moving?" asked the young man.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to be so paranoid," the young lady said. "We won't make an offer until we've had the full check-up."

"Here we are!" Jack said suddenly. "This is the house."

"Oh wow. It's a birch... On Live Oak street, imagine that."

 "I think the white bark looks beautiful," the lady declared.

"But it is peeling," replied the man.

"That's what birch bark does, honey."

"One advantage of the birch is that it handles the heat extremes very nicely. The laminated layers are ideal for the expansion and contraction from the plus 50 to minus 50 temperature swings we get here. The white also minimized the solar heat gain during the summer. The birch is indigenous to the region - it evolved here for just these reasons."

"But it is peeling," repeated the man.

"You are from down south, I guess," Jack said without asking.

"Yes," answered the woman. "How did you know?"

"Most people looking for homes now are from down south. Up here, this far north, it still get's cold - really cold," Jack explained. "It's not like down south were it's just hot all the time. The further north you go, the more extreme the temperature swings and the more your building designs need to take into account thermal stress."

"Yeah, that's why we are moving - we are tired of the heat," stated the man.