19 year old Franz Schopenhauer of Jacksonville, Florida was sentenced today to five years of federal imprisonment for hacking into a construction sign on Hwy 17 and displaying the message, "Caution: Zombie crossing ahead". While departing the courtroom, he was heard to proclaim, " If you want a safe compass to guide you through life, and to banish all doubt as to the right way of looking at it, you cannot do better than accustom yourself to regard this world as a penitentiary!"
A mix of commentary, satire, and creative writing, often exploring philosophical and sociopolitical themes with a humorous and critical lens.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
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Gossip Gorillas: the Gossip Theory of Everything
Pretty much everything special about being human comes down to language, or more pointedly, gossip. Evolutionary anthropology tells us that...
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For the one hundredth time, Jacob asked himself why he was nervous. There was absolutely nothing special about asking the Net a question; bi...
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Shrink: It's 5 o'clock in the morning, Wrap. Can this wait for a few hours? Wrap: I'm sorry, doc, I falling apart here. I r...
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"You know there's a fine line between creativity and schizophrenia," Ardenter said. "Yeah, creativity is like playing ch...
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