Prison Breaks

I write these lines from within prison walls. While I am guilty of killing many people, that is not the reason I am here. I am honored for my killings, yet condemned by society for escapism.

In my younger days, I, like many others, valorized the ethos of the warrior. There was nothing more stirring to my young soul than the fantasies of active combat. I engaged in mock warfare with my brothers and prowled through the woods in camouflage.

I allowed the Army to pay for my university education. The military training exercises contrasted with the campus life like salt in a bowl of jello. I enjoyed the hostility of the nihilists and anti-authoritarians as they slumped past me between classes. The 'trick' of discipline, like magic, made the classes remarkably easy as my tests and project marks reflected. Rather than partying or staying up late, I kept my schedule and prepared my gear.  The early morning physical training was remarkably effective for my adhd. After rising at half past five and jogging in the predawn light, my focus and morale were kept sharp while those around me brinked on disaster.

An essential aspect of military culture is a clearly defined standard of conduct. A core value is to be the best you can be, therefore I participated in every extended training activity I could. I completed Airborne, Air Assault, Mountain Warfare, and Leadership Developmental and Assessment Courses in the summers before graduation.

After my commissioning, I spent less than seven months in active duty. During this short period, however, I engaged in active combat several times. My memories of the period are more like a dream than reality.  I ordered men forward and watched some die. I aimed my rifle, pulled the trigger, and watched men drop. While moving forward and accomplishing orders, I witnessed the death, dismemberment, and disabling of many people.

After an explosion in Mogadishu, I found myself on a pile of bricks looking down at shards of glass mixed in with my intestines hanging out like purple sausages from my belly.  Just before I blacked out, I remember trying to be careful not to cut my fingers on the sharp edges of the glass as I picked them out, one by one.

I remember coming-to as a military doctor was checking my vital signs. He seemed pleased that I was awake, but then explained that my left foot had been crushed and they had to amputate it. While they had successfully removed all the glass from my abdominal cavity, the risk of infection was high due to all the punctures. I listened to all of this without much emotion except the desire to be strong and show that I was willing to do whatever was required of me.

Three weeks later, I was able to move to a wheel chair and tour around the hospital grounds for short periods. I had lost a great deal of muscle mass, so even moderate exertions exhausted me. I slept and tried to rest, but my schedule fell apart with frequent medical checkups and changing of bandages every three or four hours.  I was exhausted all the time. I did not begin therapy with my prosthetic foot until four months later.

Thirteen months after my commissioning, I received an honorable discharge with disability and was released back into the civilian world. During my time of convalescence, I started to read A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn, but the text irritated me profoundly. I was unable to read more than a few chapters. I needed a better historical perspective that was not so simplistic and cartoonish. The Acquisitive Society, by R. H. Tawney, provided some insight, but also irritated me.

But these are not the reasons I write these lines. I write to record conversations and to escape boredom. As a prisoner, escape is always on my mind. But, like you, escape is not possible except in the form of escapism. As Schopenhauer said, we can do nothing better than to consider ourselves as fellow prisoners in this penal colony called life. I released many lives from these bonds while playing soldier in imperial outposts. I now hope to release you by changing your perspective.

Life in prison is not all bad. While the time I spent in solitary was essentially hell, that was many years ago. Now, as an old man in general confinement, I enjoy many privileges, including access to the library. Here I have read a great deal, and my view of the world has changed. At various times over the years, I had a few good conversations with other inmates. Gradually we sought each other out and began meeting with a prison chaplain for weekly discussions.  The lines that follow are my attempt to record some of these conversations. I call them Prison Breaks.

Bias and Blur

Social identity is important for mental health.

I'd say you're mentally ill if you do not identify more strongly with some groups than with others.

Diversity is a meta-identity.

There is a social identity for those who value diversity.

This group is intolerant of those who are intolerant.

There is a group that values individualism too.

This group will form nations and wage war against collectivist types.

Individualism becomes a sacred value, enshrined in our constitution.

"Implicit bias" is a natural and healthy result of a strong in-group identity.

Sorting a deck of cards into red and black piles is easy.

Sorting the same deck into Hearts-Spades and Diamonds-Clubs is more difficult.

Likewise for racial stereotype mismatches.

The more difficult it is for you, the higher your implicit bias score.

Diversity kills decisiveness.

Instead of choosing your favorite movies, foods, or beers, imagine forcing yourself to always try something different.

Pretty soon, you might not know what you like.

If someone asked, you might say, "I don't know, whatever."

The more you know, the less clear it becomes.

Reality is complicated and muddled.

To really believe in something is to be really biased.

A bias is a filter, a way of categorizing and clearing things up.

Without bias, it would all be a blur.

Of course, I am oversimplifying, just to make a point.

And that is my point: simplification is necessary to separate the signal from the noise.

It's pleasant to see an out-group in pain.

When the opposing team looses, we cheer.

When the other political group looks foolish, we laugh.

We laugh - and laughter is good for the soul.

"id" - the part of the mind in which innate instinctive impulses and primary processes are manifest.

idiot = id+iot

A jester plays the fool and acts like an idiot, mocking what we despise.

Nietzsche and Dostoevsky both saw Christ acting this role.

Scapegoats are good for the soul too.

Scapegoats are sacrifices, which are religious - as are souls.

Who supposedly took all of mankind's sins on himself, as a scapegoat?

Anxiety sucks, but once we have someone to blame, we have anger.

You can do something about anger - even if it is usually something stupid.

Anxiety just wears us down.

Comedy is a nonviolent way of scapegoating someone.

Ah, the Divine Comedy...

There is a place called The Inferno Comedy Club, in Laughlin, NV.

I bet it's hot there, being Nevada and all.

Bogus Endocrinology News

OTTAWA, ON – Rural men offer interesting insights into effective methods for elevating testosterone, a new study finds.

 

Testosterone levels in American men have been declining steadily over the past two decades, according to a new study in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism. 

 

The reasons for this decline are unclear; the study suggests that neither aging nor changes in certain health factors, such as obesity or smoking, can completely explain the phenomenon.

 

Testosterone is the primary male sex hormone. It is important for maintaining bone and muscle mass throughout life. Insufficient levels of testosterone have been linked to diabetes, low libido, and other medical conditions. Typically, testosterone levels in men peak around their late 20s, and then begin a gradual decline from age 30 onward.

 

However, the surprising results of a separate study reveal the testosterone levels of rural residence of Kentucky and West Virginia to be 20% higher than the national average among the men sampled.  In other words, they were not effected by the same decline as the population at large. 

 

In 2012, researchers from Bogus Technical University collected saliva samples of 200 adult males living "off the grid" in Kentucky and West Virginia to measure their 'bio-available' testosterone levels. The bio-available testosterone levels were so far outside the mean for American men that the researchers went back to collect additional samples from the same regions. The results from the second study confirmed their initial findings: adult men in these regions have significantly higher testosterone levels than average.

 

After publishing the results of their findings in the Journal of Bogus Endocrinology and Metabolism Bologna, the team went back a third time to visit relatives and collect ethnographic data.  Although it is "pure speculation" at this point, the researchers believe lifestyle, nutrition and sociological factors are key explanatory factors for this phenomenon.  The researches asked residence to explain, in their own words, why their testosterone levels were so much higher.

 

"We eat mostly game meat," says one resident. "It is all natural and organic. It ain't pumped full of all them castration chemicals y'all got in that supermarket meat."

 

"We never shy away from a good fight," says another. "You can always tell when some guy is feeling down, because he starts picking on someone else, trying to start a fight.  After they go at it for a while, the guy who started it either gets the shit kicked out of him, or he walks away feeling much better."

 

"Being a bully is just self medication, but beating up a bully is the best medicine of all."

 

Other surprising responses included: blow something up, shoot something, hunt, chop wood, win against a kid, round up a gang of rowdy guys, sit back on the porch and criticize someone, talk loud, have sex, and get crazy.

 

"Y'all big city folk have a hard time winning at anything," one resident says. "Even if you do win, you feel guilty about it. Out here in the small ponds, even a medium sized fish can feel like a big fish. It's good to feel like a big fish, even if you ain't one."

 

The researchers caution that, given the surprising results, independent studies are necessary to replicate and confirm their findings.

 

https://www.endocrine.org/news-room/press-release-archives/2006/testosterone_lvls_in_men_decline

List Magick

Dude: Today we are speaking with Al Crowley, an expert in List Magick, which is defined as "the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will."

Al has written literally thousands of lists and is a tireless evangelizer of the efficacious powers of List Magick. 

Al, can you please introduce the concept of List Magick to us?

Al: Yes, Dude. List Magick is essentially a method for a person to reach true understanding of the self and to act according to one's true will, which he or she sees as the reconciliation "between freewill and destiny." In our everyday battles with pressures and expectations, it is easy to lose oneself.

Dude: A reconciliation between freewill and destiny? That sounds pretty esoteric, Al. Isn't List Magick really just the process of making lists to organize one's efforts?

Al: Dude, it is much more than that. Anyone can make a list, but invoking the power of List Magick requires a deeper level of concentration and commitment. Used effectively, List Magick may effect ANY required change by the application of the proper kind and degree of Force in the proper manner, through the proper medium to the proper object. List Magick is the Science of understanding oneself and one's conditions. It is the Art of applying that understanding in action.

Dude: I do not deny that there is a certain art and science of making good lists, but do you worry that wrapping your methods in such religious language and mysticism will marginalize your method?

Al: To the contrary, Dude. I am a firm believer that the full power of List Magick cannot be effectively wielded without mysticism and a deep appreciation of the powers at hand. In fact, the focus of my method is to develop regular mystical practices such that the magician becomes filled with List Magick, fed upon List Magick, intoxicated with List Magick. Little by little his body will become purified by the internal lustration of List Magick; day by day his mortal frame, shedding its earthly elements, will become in very truth the List Magick. Day by day matter is replaced by Spirit, the human by the divine; ultimately the change will be complete; List Magick manifest in flesh will be his name.

Dude: Wow. I see. That is a pretty lofty goal. It sounds a little more transformative than simply getting into the habit of writing lists. Perhaps you can give us a few of the more practical aspects of List Magick. What does this transformation actually entale at the actionable level?

Al:  At the practical level, List Magick takes several practices and forms of ritual, including banishing distractions, invocation and evocation of overall goals and specific resources, eucharistic rituals for proper nutrition, consecration and purification of tools, schedules, and other resources, astral travel for focused attention, yoga for physical health and stress reduction, and divination for gathering more information to gain insight and to make better decisions.

Dude: Okay, that all sounds very practical. Can you walk us through each of these rituals individually?

Al: Yes, to effectively use List Magick for Getting Things Done, one must capture everything, clarify everything into actionable steps, organize and prioritize things into bit-sized chunks, and then review and reflect daily and weekly. Keep your lists moving, prune them, re-shuffle them, keep them short, and focus on the next action tasks. 

The purpose of banishing rituals is to eliminate forces that might interfere with List Magick operations. Focus. Eliminate distractions. Use the power of writing to retain messages from the unconscious. Write things down.

Purify yourself. Keep your life as simple as possible, but not simpler. 

Consecrate your lists. Dedicate three resources for three lists: one for next actions, another for projects, and another for future plans. Keep them separated. 

Invoke the power of List Magick by being as realistic about your limitations as possible. Be humble. Identify your weaknesses, treat them like problems, and solve them.

Stay calm. To harness this great power, one must eliminate anxiety and stress which diminish your conductance. Offer no resistance. Practice yoga and meditation to still your thoughts so your mind becomes quiet. 

Dude: I see. Wow. That all sound pretty grandiose and over-the-top. After a period of meditation, deep breathing, and focusing on the divine, the adept should become a more effective conduit for - what? Writing a good shopping list, planning the kids summer camp activities, and paying bills on time? 

Al: Dude, it is much more than that. We live on the battlefield between external pressures and inner peace, the border between heaven and Eath.  This is an existential struggle. Our very souls are caught between Chaos and Logos. Through List Magick, one can make a change in ones life by using ones own personal energy and the energy of surrounding elements.  The more one is able to identify with and devote oneself to the Great Spirit, the less the external pressures will matter and the greater the existential meaning will grow.  Identity with the Great Spirit is attained by love and by surrender, by giving up or suppressing all irrelevant and illusionary parts of yourself.

Dude: That is fascinating, Al. Thank you for coming in today. I really appreciate you taking the time to speak with me about this really important topic. 

Al: No problem. Thank you for having me.

Dude: We've been speaking today with Al Crowley (not to be confused with Aleister Crowley, of Thelema fame) about his List Magick method. 

* * *
Magick and the GTD method have more in common than just being two cults or two articles in Wikipedia. 

"The GTD method rests on the idea of moving planned tasks and projects out of the mind by recording them externally and then breaking them into actionable work items"; while Magick is "an effort to make a change in ones life by using ones own personal energy and the energy of surrounding elements."

If you lay the methods out side-by-side, the parallels become apparent without too much wishful thinking. 

In any case, you too can use the power of List Magick for getting things done!

Faux Flu Science News

"The common explanation for why we cough and sneeze is that viruses evolved the ability to inflame the mucus membranes and induce coughing and sneezing as their transmission vectors," explains Holt Crescent University professor Wyatt Earp. 

"However, our study reveals the situation to be a bit more complicated and much darker. We show that the blame for this method of transmission does not fall entirely with the viruses."

Virus DNA is typically extremely simple - too simple to induce coughing and sneezing in an organism as complex as human beings, the researchers claim. 

"Viruses have the capacity to target specific cell types, but not to induce the behavioral response of coughing and sneezing," Professor Earp explains.

The explanation, the researchers speculated, is that humans have evolved to use the infections as a biological weapon to exclude foreigners.  Humans have evolved to cough and sneeze, not to expel the infection, but to deliberately transmit it to people with low resistance. 

"People within the same group are often closely related and have very similar arrangements of their major histamine complexes. Because of this, humans within a group are immune to their own personal cadre of infectious agents.  When they come into contact with other groups, however, these viruses act as shock troops. Rather than always resorting to physical violence, we have evolved to let the viruses do the killing for us." 

"This is especially true for children," Professor Earp says. "Because women and children are physically weaker than most adult males, they must rely on other means of self defense. A question we asked ourselves is, who protects the women and children when the men are out hunting or fighting? Our answer: viruses."  

"It is interesting to note that xenophobia is closely linked to disgust - a fear of contamination, so there is some psychological basis to our hypothesis," Professor Earp says. "Also, from a historical perspective, one of the most notable examples of this effect is the almost complete genocide of the indigenous population of the Americas." 

Ottawa Misanthropic Society Announces New Product Release

"Rather than fearing Death™, we should embrace it," says John Anon from the Ottawa Misanthropic Society.
 
"People suffering from a variety of ailments, ranging from financial debt and career indecision to athletes foot and halitosis, should try Death™", says John. "It is a cheap, simple, and proven solution."

 

John told reporters that while Death™ is highly effective, it is an often overlooked solution for many common problems people face today. "If you are suffering from the common cold or cancer, having trouble scheduling a dental appointment, or are late on your car payments, then a quick and simple solution is Death™," John said. "There is really no need to be stressed about any of these issues."
 
"There are environmental benefits too," John says. "Many people are concerned about their environmental impact and choose to become vegan or ride their bicycles rather than drive, but here at the Ottawa Misanthropic Society, we feel these are only half measures at best. A far more effective solution is Death™ - the most environmental and sustainable choice one can make," John claims. "The most environmental thing most people can do is not exist."

 

The Misanthropic Society spokesperson went on to extol the cost saving aspects of their new product. "Rather than spending billions of dollars trying to prolong lives or cure sicknesses, we should embrace the gift of Death™. While it is unlikely that people will experience any of the many pleasures life has to offer after experiencing Death™, it is certain that they will avoid all the pain and suffering. In fact, we guarantee it."

 
Free samples of Death™ were available, but no takers were seen. 

Ape Love, in Ten Parts

As the bonobo mounted his mate, he whispered into her ear, "Only theologians can be true atheists."
"Indeed," she replied. "Those who are least aware of a theory are most enslaved by it."
Breathing heavily, he stepped back and blasphemed on the soil. "We are too old for children," he stated.
Sitting next together, they groomed each other for a few moments. Only the sound of lice popping between their teeth could be heard.
"You are too beautiful," he declared. "I have nothing to give you that is worthy of your beauty."
"Do not bother," she replied. "I once had a friend who was truly beautiful. You would have fallen for her. All the male apes did. They were constantly giving her objects as testaments to their love.  Whenever I saw her, she would show me her latest treasures. She was very proud of her possessions. Over time, I began to resent these meetings. She seemed to value me only as a witness to her glory."
"What happened to her?" asked the male.
"She was killed by a jealous lover. He was a beautiful, powerful ape. When he discovered her infidelity, he smashed her skull with his fists. He beat her and beat her until there was nothing but pulverized flesh, hair, and bone. When his murder was discovered, the elders ripped off his testicles and beat him to death."
"Even the strongest are easily overwhelmed by a crowd," the male concurred. "I, too, once knew an ape who was beautiful and strong. He was also very proud - not of his possessions, but his physicality. In his pride, he dominated the other males, but he was cut in a fight and became sick with a fever. While delirious, he fell from his tree and hurt his legs and back. He never recovered his strength, so his pride was mortally wounded. He became bitter and resentful. In spite, he spread lies and rumors about other apes. He became ostracized and hated by everyone. Eventually, he left the tribe, where I assume he died."
"That is a sad story. His lies and rumors remind me of another story," the female said. "The sister of the ape I mentioned before was not so blessed with beauty. No lovers gave her trinkets or gifts. But she was still proud. In her false vanity, she claimed gifts for herself and boasted that they were given to her. Her thefts were eventually discovered. The shame of her guilt was too much for her family.  They disowned her, so she wandered alone, looking for food and was devoured by jaguars one dry season."
"That is sad," replied the male. "We are old. We have seen much.  Too many murders; too much unnecessary unrest."
"If only our children would listen," murmured the female. "They could avoid making the same mistakes.
"But they do not listen," stated the male. "They have no respect for our wisdom."
"If only we could set aside one day a week to get them to listen to some of what we have seen," continued the female.
"Listen to us?" Scoffed the male. "My children mock me. In their pride, they think they know best. They are ignorant and naive, but arrogant and proud."
"Yes, but did you honor your parents?" asked the female.
"No. My father was a tyrant. He wanted me to be absolutely dependent on him for everything. If he had his way, I would not have the ability to breath without his permission."
"This is the way of life," the female mused. "We are all absolutely dependent on something. For me, it is luck. Everything I have and all that I have accomplished is due to luck."
"Our luck has been good, I guess. We are old," relied the male. "And I am lucky to be here with you."
"Fortune smiles on us," she murmured, crunching a louse between her teeth.
"For now," he agreed.